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Dear readers ,

i dunno whatever im thinking now is right
but i just feel so lost suddenly
i was so sure of what i wanted that time
but right now
it's surrounding that's telling mi one thing
im thinking of another
n u are showing mi another
what am i suppose to do i have no idea
i feel kind of lost n everything seems to be so blur
i dunno should i continue or what
but i used to be so certain u were the one for mi
till that few weeks of hang out with u make mi think u changed
and i been trying so hard to find u back
yet i cant find u
no matter how far i went i goes to every single coner just to look for u
and that feeling of u
but i cant.im like a lost child in the middle of the road
can u give mi the assurance that u will let mi walk into ur heart
like mi find the u that i had been finding for this past few weeks
im looking for u very badly
i needed those hugs of yours
not those violent punch n slaps of yours

Dear readers ,

im like so gonna blog abt what happened yesterday ok
got a hang over this morning haha
ok yesterday was like meeting her?
den brought her to piercing n rebonding
den kind of tell her she's not the one i love already because she changed
and den i was depressed which is OF COURSE
because i noe myself i still love her but i choose to tell her that
i noe ppl do changed.esp after two month not being by my side
den i went to meet lynnie at ps
i DIN noe zhy was there and it was her birthday la
den sing song everything blah blah blah

planning to go with huiwen to find her mum
in the end we went to BACKSTAGE!
things are so much different now
it's like so much fun!
at first just drink talk
until brandon went to flirt around
and den jj n mi was like sitting in front of brandon
den bryan(a guy whom we noe less than a hour?) approach jj n mi
asking mi to drink a drink he mixed which is called french of drink
after we drink it we must french?of course mi n jj was like dun wan la
but in the i was like since we so high den we just join in the fun?
den mi n jj start to kiss,followed by NG huiwen n judy came back from toilet
i SABO them.hahaha.jusy n huiwen have to french?hahaha
mi n jj kept LC-ing each other i got damn sian so i said i wan change partner.
den it's like huiwen la.hahahah
den i french with huiwen though we noe each other damn long but feeling different
hahaha.damn fun.i kept making fun of shavy ok.i kept saying i wan kiss him
den everyone was so high.mi n jj start to dance.when i dun even noe how?
hahahaha.den just bua-ing each other,
judy n mi was in high tide so we went to toilet.huiwen tagged along
when i come of the toilet.there is a UNCLE looking at mi den i of course look back la
den he started to hug mi n touch mi.i din noe how to react i totally like
mi:sorry but im not into guys.heh
uncle:opps sorry this is my first time here and im quite confused,i tot u were a guy
den i was like thinkin pls la im a GAL!den i sabo jusy.i told the uncle inside got another one
hahahaha.,judy freaked out.**** was the worst he got MOLESTED by the uncle k?
den i took advantage of huiwen
i told her i damn like the picture of she n zhy kissing photo
den i start kissing her even though we are not dared by others to kiss
after kissin huiwen say ta ma de.take advantage huh
hahaha.omg damn fun damn high yesterday ok.hahahaha
though i was unhappy but i enjoyed myself,
judy,huiwen n mi was like if this is a lesbian pub jiu hao le.hahaha
but we are like underage so cant get into play or others pub la
den we headed to eat and den home
saw idiot on the way walking to clake quay
den i totally drop in my bed when i reach home
hahaha i noe im dirty but ya?

today work damn fun even though fucking depressed
fun because i was not really working i went to gw n bugis to take thing
hahaha i onli did closing.damn fun ok
but the fucking bus is idiot.when i waiting for 195 alot of 133 come
when i waiting for133 den alot of 195 come.make mi sit at bus stop like idiot
i really feel like crying my heart out
im like someone with no life
hais,even though i love u but i really dunno wat to do to assure u are still you
i cant find u at all
i noe i shocked u by what i had said,but i really cant find u
i dun see the point carrying on
but still i really love u.if im not true to u i wun wan to work so hard to bring u shoppin
and buy whatever thing u wan though i have alot of thing i wan

Dear readers ,

as day passes,my love for u are growing within mi
i dun mind spending on u
no matter how broke i will be
i will just keep spending
just to get that smile on ur face
not easy to win ur heart
but easy to earn ur smile
seeing ur smile melts my heart
because nothing matters more than a smile on ur face
now that it's all said and done
i cant believe u are the one
who builds mi up and tear mi down like an old abandon hse
it's painful to wait
but i just wan to put myself to this test
to see how strong my love is for u
i wanted to tell u today that u are not the **** i love anymore
but i couldnt bring myself to say
when i hug u i really dun wish to let go of you
stop abusing mi okay?
i dun like it.pls
dun do this to mi already
give mi a min of your love alright
if u noe what does it mean
i noe u wun be reading this
but just posting my feeling
hais stress!

Dear readers ,

was i being stupid
everyone's is telling mi she's using mi for the money only
yet i stupidly let her used mi
wtf is wrong with mi?
and thanks to whatever im doing
im left with no more phone
im feel so fucked up and saddistic
i feel bloody stupid alright
everyone asking mi to let go
but i choose not to because u asked mi not to let go of you
i chose to truse u
if u ever break my trust dun ever think i will go back to u and beg u already
yes i was the one who did u wrong in the first place
but dun u think it's too much already
why must it be this way
i really very confuse already
fuck the world

Dear readers ,

today was really a BAD BAD day
i went to bedok to fix my psp
but den the person is not working again
i went yesterday he wasnt there also
omg i dunno what the hell is wrong with my fucking psp alright
den i went to work and i got to like go bedok again tmr?!
thurs fri i oso must go
sian bodoh
work time even worst
i was putting the rice i already wash on the weighing scale
who know's it wasnt balance
den the detergent was spill.i was picking up the detergent
and den the next sec my rice drop everything was spilled!
so i cleared up den i filter oil
and den the oil was poured all over
wth is worng with mi?
so i just cleared up the mess i did
den i happily tot can go home already
abt 15 mins before work
det asked mi to do colstraw*however it is spelled(hahaha eng fail.)
den i just do la
i had always been very careful when using the slicing thing
but i really dunno what the hell is wrong with mi la
i just cut my finger like that
and i stoned there for a while
den i lift up the skin that was cut
it started to bleed den i start shouting
im like crazy
krishna is irritating ok
say today i do so many mistake already
ask mi dun go back wrong hse
idiot bodoh
den kristine more irritating
say i miss ahem too much
whatever i really very concentrate on what im doing already
im not even thinking of anything alright

i dunno why
im afriad to love you now
u make mi feel like u are fanny
like the way u treat mi
im scared of u
i dunno are u the one i love already not
because your action are showing mi the other way round
i really nid to assure myself that u are still you
i dun wan u to change though ppl does change
but really really
i dun wan u to be this way
or are u just putting mi through some test to assure yourself that i wun be like past anymore?
u ask mi to understand u
but how am i suppose to so that?
when u dun even let mi get close to you?
im so lost now
like a lost child that will never get it's way back home

Dear readers ,

whatever i doing now and whatever im thinking i dunno
maybe maybe im really rushing you
i was being unreasonable
im sorry
maybe u should reconsider of thinking of coming back to mi
if i were playing you
do u even think i will do so much thing for u
will i choose to wait for u
i was getting impatient
i couldnt wait for u to come back to mi
now im tired
really dread od facing the future already
seems like i cant do much to save the situation
u dun have to be envious of fanny
not ppl are willing to talk to her
she was the one capable to talk to ppl
not everyone could be like you
who could just ignore some one as u like and talk to that person when u feel like

Dear readers ,

i talked to fanny
i found out alot of thing
things were not going as well as how i think for them
i thought they were going back together already
but the actual fact he oso needed to forget her
both of them trying so hard to forget each other for what
since now i know the truth liao
i will make u two get back again
dun do thing that wun make u happy at all alright
i love you doesnt mean i got to be with you
i dunno what fanny is thinking
i dunno what melvrick is thinking
i dunno what u are thinking
i onli noe what i m thinking
if u wan to go back to him and he's willing to come back to you
i will back out of this whole thing
im oso kind of third party in this relationship
im willing to sacrifies
i dun want to see u all so sad and hurt

Dear readers ,

i still get on with my life happily
without u im still mi
i noe myself better than anyone
i noe how much hurt i wll get for how much love i gave to you
but i really dun give a damn to anything anymore
money more important to mi already
hhahahaahahah
im crazy
im speechless by what u say
but i dunno why i love you so much bodoh
hahahah

Dear readers ,

i really dunno what im thinking nowaday
hais i really very sick and tired
liked what he said might be true
hais den it's like everything he say hit on the nail
not i dun wan contact u all
haiyer i very confused sia
i dunno wat i doing oso
been drinking to stop whatever im thinking
i dunno how long i can hang to this
whenever i say this u might be thinking i rushing u all
have u tot abt how long i had waited for u when u were with others?
hais it's my fault again
i really dunno wat to so already now

Dear readers ,

i very disappointed in everything and the one i love already
i have no idea what to do anymore
i had so much faith in u thinking that u will change
everyday u just came home and give mi a disappointment
just because of a fucking whore and u like that
do u even think that she worth it not
ur wife passed away u oso never take it so hard
just because of that fucking bitch u took it so hard
i have no idea of what u thinking
if i have a choice i will really call the police and put u in
i din wan to do that because i keep thinking u will change for mi
and u are my dad i cant do this to u
i still nid you. you still nid ur job to keep going
it's hard for u to find another job like this again
at ur age and at this time.i think for u
but have u ever think for mi
or u want mi to sniff together with you?
i sniff u gave mi hell out,den how abt u?
u already have a fucking case behind this
and u are stil not scared and not willing to change
like someone told mi
u will never change already just like a leopard will never change it spots
the another i love i dun really noe what u are thinking
i dunno there's alot of question going around in my mind
but i wun chose yo ask u because i dun wan to stress u out
u already so stress abt ur studies and *him already
y should i do things to make u feel even more stress out
but i really dunno how long this going to take
i dunno how long i can hold on to this
no time=cant accompany mi
i dun wanna feel the way i do
i just wanna be right here with you
i got no comment for the one i loves anymore
sooner or later im breaking down
life sucks
hw i wish i could just go down acc my mum

Dear readers ,

i have no idea how i gone through the day today smiling
maybe i was just forcing a smile
pretending to be happy when im actually not
because im like suffering inside
thinking of when she will reply my msg
is not im impatient waiting for her reply
im afraid history will repeat itself
like she wun reply my msg like anymore?
hais im so scared ok
im not confident in making her forget her ex over mi
because i think her ex is like so much better than mi?
now u replying late is like i used to it already
so if u like never reply or what i wun be paranoid already
hais whatever it is i dunno what i thinking anymore
i only noe i really love you
hope that i will get the same from u
though i noe it's not easy to forget someone and get into another relationship so fast
no matter how tired im to wait
i wun give up because im determined to wait for you
and i really love you
even till the end i will not give up

Dear readers ,

i have no idea why do u wan to visit my blog for?
read already den tiam tiam la
go tell other ppl for what
den make that person go n ask my friend
just dun interfier in our lives when we din interfier with yours
u guys wan get back together just get back alright
even though she will be very hurt upon learning the truth
i will be there to heal her wound for her la
i wun let her come to anymore harms liao
no one can make mi change my love for her anymore
she's the one for mi
but i dunno whether im the one for her not
im like still waiting?
hahahaha im insane la
but i will try my very best just to make her forget him?
can i do it?i oso dunno
whatever it is
i just wan to be with her and no one disturb us
so pls do not disturb us anymore
whether we together or not
its not up to mi to decide n not up to you to noe
thanks:)

Dear readers ,

well im super sick today ok
hahahaha
i lie at home the whole day can u inmagine how life would be?
failed to take my test today tot can no need take liao cause got mc
in the end thurs go back sch also must take
hais scared i failed sia
wth lo
girl how i wish u were here anyway im meeting u tmr
so it's like okay:)
hahahahaha
i miss u badly ok
i bet u din even think of mi lo
i noe who u are thinking and missing the most now
saddden but it's okay i will try my best not to let u think of him anymore
den u will be mine alright
i wun give up that easily
if i give up easily den today i wun be waiting for u right
trust mi and alowly we have a new begining ok
though the feeling of waiting sucks
but den i noe because of u i dun mind
just dun let mi wait for too long
im not the patient kind
but still i wun give up this easily
no matter what im still here alright
gwennie i need u badly
esp now im badly sad
nvm den:)
naba baliw ako sayo gwen:)

Dear readers ,

i dunno what i did just now
i was like in heaven
i really dunno what i do
hais
now im clear
i was thinking back what did i do just now

Dear readers ,

am i asking to much or are u doing too little?
i dun understand why am i suffering
i tot i was happy
until i feel that actually to the fact i dun really mean a thing to you
i feel that im not important to u at all
or rather u dun feel a thing for mi
so what i wait for u
will u love mi again?
which i think it's hard for u to forget him n love mi again
no matter how much i try it just seem u are still at the same old spot
u din even move on at all
i was very disappointed in you
i had so much confidence in you
yet u let mi down
simply make mi speechless
im sorry to say this
but u really make mi lose confidence in u already
what can i do to make u forget him and to let u noe how much i love you

Dear readers ,

trust mi
no matter how long i will wait
no matter what it takes,i will do anything just for you
im not the past mi anymore
i will be a different mi from now onward
because making u happy is my task
i will treasure u more than anything
u simply make mi think of u 24/7
i just fall for u so hard
im so happy now:)

Dear readers ,

omg!look at all this yummy food.taken by mydarling chenwei okay.haha

Dear readers ,

i really feel fucking miserable
i really dunno what i do to make u hate mi so much
everytime i only noe how to cry and cry cause of u
what more can i do?
fuck it!
it had already been 3fucking month why i still cant get over you?
do u noe how much i love you yet u hate mi so much?
u noe it's fucking miserable for the one u love to hate u so much
do u have a taste of it?
i HAD!
my heart is fucking pain
u said u will be here for mi
U FUCKING LIAR!
i love you so much yet u so this to mi

Dear readers ,

i feel so fucked up okay
i was not the master mind for everything yet i get the blame for everything
i dun get it yet the master mind was okay with the others
nobody knows what had really happen
who was the one who as mi to do all this
on the surface im the one who created everything
but it wasnt mi
i was instruct by someone
yet i was stupid to do wat she told mi to so
fuck myself for being so stupid and making everyone hates mi
limliling is the most STUPIDEST person on earth!
to listen to someone whom she shouldnt listen to

Dear readers ,

everyday everynight
no matter what i do i just think of u
thinking of the happy past and the present u who hated mi so much
no matter what i do to stop myself from thinking of u
i just cant stop
i even think to the extend of dunno who am i anymore
i never thought i will love you so much till i lost you
thinking that we could be back like the past
but i knew i competely lost you already
there's no second chance
or rather i should say no chance at all
you given mi too much chance
phew how long is it for mi to forget u
unlike u who could like got over mi in like 'zoom'
a few days.two days without contact u took it as break already
well i guess i was naive to think of u everyday
every place i pass through will have memories of mi n you
i tried so hard just to shut my mind to stop thinking
but i failed i promise you to fuck off from your life
i realise i cant do it anymore
why didnt i treasure u?
the sweetest thing i done for u was to appear infront of u in 12midnight
that's the only thing i think i fulfilled my part as your girlfriend
i was failure throughout the whole relationship
because i kept thinking u were too good for mi
thinking i thrown your face because u are too perfect
i felt inferior because u and your friend all so good looking
and eng were like so good
i felt very chin-na and it make mi seems like im in diff world from u
that's was why i kept pushing u away
i never wan to do this
u were a good girlfriend i din wan to tell u my thing because i dun wan u to worry
even though u are my girlfriend
i wan my girlfriend to be happy not to worry for mi
right now i wish to do all the thing i never done for u
but i noe i will not have that chance anymore
i still love you
i tried every single way just to avoid the sight of u
i noe i yearn to see u hug u n kiss u
but u just dun belong to mi anymore
i cant do this anymore
i love you dun do this to mi will u?like pls

Dear readers ,

i dunno what is wrong with jeremy ok
last week hit my breast today make mi fall down
omg lo
haiya
my laopo dun wan care mi le
i tell her i love her she give mi a lol
hmph
laopo i listen to u
since she dun give a fuck abt mi
why should i care so much
i dun wan think abt the past or her anymore
i wan think of the future le
hahahahahaha
ok im so nonsense
and to ng weichien
U SUCKS ok
i rawks
u cute?i think my backside cuter ok
hahahahah

Dear readers ,

i wan turn back the time
i wan to be your n your onli one again
tsk i noe i failed mu task already la
u already moved on
moreover u already with ur current the other half for three month already
hais....i really crazy over you
like hell man.........
be it psp,handphone pictures of u
everytime i see it i miss u even more
hais....will there ever be a day when u will come back to mi
if i ever get the last chance now
i really will treasure u
and u treat u so much better than before
trust mi
it will be complete change in mi
y am i living in self denied everyday
isnt it like over lonf time ago
yet im still gwen gwen gwen
wtf is wrong with mi?
didnt i promise to fuck off from her life
why am i not doing so?
wtf??!!!omg i cant take it anymore la
im breaking down soon la
hais.why is it when i had u i din treasure u?
when now i wanted u.u hated mi like shit
even though i love you so much
i dun wish to ask for second chance because i don deserve one
i just wan you to be fren with mi
that's all
all along u are not forgotten
y i din tell u because i see u so happy with melvrick
i wan u to forget mi n be happy with him
yet i chose to say this at this point of time
not to ask u come back to mi
just wanted u to forgive mi only
hais
think back of the happy time we had at least
so to make u dun hate mi so much
im living in misery
i wan turn back the time
i wan to be yours!gwendolyn tan swee lian!